Gooney Bird Blues

Talking Phu Cat 94th Gooney Bird Blues

Written by Z-Bird, and Stu, Birdlegs and Hymie Number 2

Well it was a long time ago
It was last July
Got on a big silver bird to fly
Packed my clothes and I kissed my mom
Cause I was going off to Vietnam
Going to Phu Cat
Paradise Acres
To fly on the Gooney Bird!

When I got to the Cat I was feelin low
Looked all around for a place to go
Walked up to a man and I called him Sir
And he said “boy, go get a burr”
Haircut that is
Called me a” hippie”
Long sideburns
Sure felt good!

Well I processed in and pretty soon
I went to fly on the Magnificent Goon.
Well they cranked it up and it started to sputter
And that radio talk sure made me stutter.
R R R R Roger that,
S S S S Stand by one.
Over and out!

Well we just took off and began to fly
I said “Sir, this is X off to key the KY”
He said “alright X go right ahead”
I said, ‘as long as I’m up, I’m gonna go to the head”
He said “nice timing”,
I said, “nice takeoff”.

Well, we were just ‘feet wet’ and just begun,
And I said, “Sir lock on number one”
He said, what’s the strength?”
I said, “I don’t know got a little bitty spike just beginning to show”
He said, “wait, gotta get me a dop set,
“Pilot, find me a bridge, or a ridge, or fork in a river, or a fork in a road,
Oh, fork it, I don’t know”

Well, we logged in the area right on time
And I was just working number 9,
He said, “slow down X, you got too many,
Time to dig into your box benny”
So I did
Hey, same thing I had yesterday
And the day before
And the day before that,
Oh my God I got the same crap again,
What ever happened to the IF-10?”

I had a ham and cheese between two tired buns
And my boiled egg began to run
all over my water soluble logs.
Target 1 was running into Target 2
Target 2 was running into Target 6,
And Target 6 was running all over my Maintenance Debrief!

Well, I looked at the mess upon my pad,
And I called up X and I said “Hey dad, give me a hand”
He said, “No, sorry about that I’m the SRO”
“Ok begger, 18 years and already a Staff Seargant”

Well, I looked out the window and I saw smoke,
And the wing fell off and I began to choke.
I said, “hey AC, we gotta go back”,
He said “our 7 hours ain’t up, sorry about that”.
He said “as long as you’re up give me a wing check”,
I said “give me a parachute”

Well we made it home on a GCA,
It had been on helluva day,
The Gear was down, we started to land,
The AC said, “let’s go around again”.
Why stop at 7, why not 7.2,
Log us down at 3 zero Nav”

Well I got to the ground and I stowed my gear,
And I went to the porch to have a beer,
I hit the sack and started to snore,
When a rocket came in and I kissed the floor.
Someone yelled “outgoing, big bertha,
Hey, who’s that idiot under the bed?”

Well, the people around me started to laugh,
I screamed, “I can’t take no more of this GAF,
You mean I got to spend a year in this place?”
And a man looked at me and said, “23 days,
in the war”
I started to cry,
“360 what?”

When I think of the Goons and the rockets I’ve heard,
And here I am on the Freedom Bird.
Goin back to the states, getting out of the war,
Ain’t gonna wear the uni no more.
Yup, I’m a civilian,
“Goodbye Vietnam,
“Now what?”

Written by: Jim Zupancic, Stu Hill, Bill Hollenbeck, Don Hymel
Performed by: Don Hymel
Photography and editing: Wilfred Frink